Another Thread... (38)

1 Name: Bwah : Fri, 12 Oct 2012 07:51:02 GMT ID:hw1QgbIm (Image: 516x224 png, 156 kb) [Del]

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Other thread was a little too long, sorry. Anyway, I found a few other things:

While at the Waterfall, young Lenardo tries to convince Unaleph to revive Elena. Unaleph is unwilling to do so, then present Lenardo interrupts, placing his jewel at Unaleph's feet as he says, "No complaints?" Unaleph replies, "No." and proceeds to take the jewel. Based on Unaleph's answer of "No.", I'd suggest changing Lenardo's question (as it stands, Lenardo asked Unaleph a negative question..."No complaints?" If Unaleph truly had no complaints, her answer would be "Yes." (in other words, "Yes, I have NO COMPLAINTS.")) Asking negative questions is tricky because the correct answer is sometimes the opposite of what is actually said. For example...suppose someone asks the following question, "Wouldn't it be a good idea to do this?" What they're REALLY asking is the following, "Would it NOT be a good idea to do this?" The word "wouldn't" is a contraction for "would not", hence a negative question. Yeah, I know, everyone talks that way, and I'm guilty of it myself at times :o)

Anyway, back to the matter at hand, I'd suggest changing Lenardo's question to "ANY complaints?" That's more understandable, plus most people just don't "get it" when I tell them about negative questions.

2 Name: Bwah : Fri, 12 Oct 2012 07:55:58 GMT ID:hw1QgbIm (Image: 256x224 png, 64 kb) [Del]

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In the same scene as #1 above, young Lenardo gives present Lenardo the key to his desk drawer. Opening the drawer yields Limitz's key. If you open the BAG and check the item description, it reads, "The key to Limitz' house." Should be, "The key to Limitz's house."

3 Name: Bwah : Fri, 12 Oct 2012 08:01:25 GMT ID:hw1QgbIm (Image: 516x224 png, 141 kb) [Del]

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In two different places, I ran into a simple misspelling. I'll list them both here, since they're similar. When you first arrive at the Golden Desert, if you search the sand you can find Gold Dust. When you find it, Myra says, "Ah ha!" Later in the game, after collecting 44 pebbles, I returned to Irene in Olga Town for my reward and she said, "Ah-ha!" I believe the word is spelled "aha", no hyphen.

4 Name: satsu : Fri, 12 Oct 2012 17:18:05 GMT ID:Ut50miED [Del]

Thanks a ton as always. It's been mental at work this week, so I'll try to catch up over the weekend.

5 Post deleted by moderator.

6 Name: Bwah : Fri, 12 Oct 2012 23:57:46 GMT ID:hw1QgbIm (Image: 516x224 png, 123 kb) [Del]

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No problem, I know how that goes with work and real life. I'll probably be done with my 2nd play through the game this weekend. It's taken me a little longer going through the game this time because I'm following a FAQ (in order to get all the Shiny Pebbles). I also thought I only missed around 2 or 3 Treasure Chests in my first run through the game...was I ever wrong! I've counted around 6 so far I had no idea they were even around!

Ok, back to the report :o)

Same as above (#3). If you go to the Arbour Pavilion and look inside through the windows, Myra says, "Ah-ha!", followed by "There's people inside!" [Should be spelled "aha"]. Unless you tell me otherwise, I'll just assume from now on that any typos already reported (like #3, and now this one) will automatically be corrected in the game script [to avoid duplicate error reports].

7 Name: Bwah : Sat, 13 Oct 2012 00:08:33 GMT ID:hw1QgbIm (Image: 256x224 png, 42 kb) [Del]

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After returning from the Brightsand Wasteland with Selphie, a scene plays out in which it is decided to have Selphie stay at the Arbour Pavilion. Inside, on the 2nd floor, there is an NPC who says, "The room in the back is free." When I saw this line, I immediately remembered another similar report about this I made. However, this line is probably all right, considering the NPC who says it isn't the manager/owner of the Arbour Pavilion (like Irene is), so there shouldn't be any confusion as to what the word "free" means here based on who's saying it. Incidentally, immediately before speaking with this NPC, I spoke with Medica downstairs, and her line read something like "The room in the back is empty." (great, no ambiguity there :o)

8 Name: Bwah : Sat, 13 Oct 2012 00:22:17 GMT ID:hw1QgbIm (Image: 516x224 png, 59 kb) [Del]

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I could have sworn I already reported this one, but I didn't see it in the other threads [so here it is]:

At the Arbour Pavilion, upstairs, there's an NPC who says, "Oh Myra... If there were such things as gods...", followed by, "...do you think they would they help us?" [See pic] The 2nd line should read, "...do you think they would help us?"

9 Name: Bwah : Sat, 13 Oct 2012 00:40:22 GMT ID:hw1QgbIm (Image: 256x224 png, 51 kb) [Del]

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This...I'm not really sure, so I'll just post it. Upstairs in the Arbour Pavilion, an old lady says to Myra, "Won't you become our daughter?" That sounds strange, for obvious reasons (it's impossible to "become" someone's daughter, barring adoption). There's a thought...some of the NPC's say some really loopy things...how about, "Since we don't have any children, will you become our adopted daughter?", or something along those lines. Gotta love translating [I'm bilingual myself, so I can relate to translating problems].

10 Name: Bwah : Sat, 13 Oct 2012 00:47:48 GMT ID:hw1QgbIm (Image: 776x224 png, 178 kb) [Del]

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Ok, something strange seems to be going on with the tables in the bar of Pioneer Town [See pics]. In picture 1 (far left), upon examining the table, Myra says, "This table's absolutely filthy! Yuck!" Ok, no problem there. After time travelling, upon examining the same table in the past (picture 2, in the middle), Myra says the same thing. So far so good. Returning to the present, if you examine the same table (picture 3, far right), Myra says, "This table's..."

It looks like something's missing from her last description. I expected Myra to repeat the same thing as before, but she didn't. Is that what she's supposed to be saying?

11 Name: Bwah : Sat, 13 Oct 2012 06:51:03 GMT ID:hw1QgbIm (Image: 776x224 png, 162 kb) [Del]

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When Dariem first explains about the Sekrelita, there's a bit of inconsistency in pluralizing the word "Sekrelita" (see pic 1, far left, where he uses the word "Sekrelitas"...in pic 2, the middle picture, he uses the word "Sekrelita", and Selphie uses the the word "Sekrelita" in the last picture). In all these pictures (and one other one I didn't include, iirc), the word "Sekrelita" is used as the plural form. Either way ("Sekrelitas" or "Sekrelita") seems right, but for the sake of consistency I'd suggest changing them all to match. FWIW, I think "Sekrelita" sounds better than "Sekrelitas".

12 Name: Bwah : Sat, 13 Oct 2012 06:58:53 GMT ID:hw1QgbIm [Del]

Oops, forgot to add a note to #11 above. In pic 2 (the middle one), I believe there's a missing comma. The sentence should read, "We Sekrelita were born to guard the powers of wind, fire, water, and earth between us." [Note comma after the word "water"].

13 Name: Bwah : Sat, 13 Oct 2012 07:02:02 GMT ID:hw1QgbIm (Image: 256x224 png, 83 kb) [Del]

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Another missing comma...Leon says here: "They already have the Ruby of Flame, the Sapphire of Water and the Topaz of Earth!" Should be, "They already have the Ruby of Flame, the Sapphire of Water, and the Topaz of Earth!" [Note comma after "Sapphire of Water"].

14 Name: Bwah : Sat, 13 Oct 2012 07:10:04 GMT ID:hw1QgbIm (Image: 256x224 png, 99 kb) [Del]

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I think this is British slang, correct me if I'm wrong. After leaving Selphie at the Arbour Pavilion to rest, if you return later Myra says Selphie already went home, followed by this line: "She said to come by her's when you get back." The word "her's" here means "her place" or "her house", right? Just wanted to double-check...that sounds odd in US English, but if it's British slang then it's ok (it is understandable, though slightly different usage).

15 Name: Bwah : Sat, 13 Oct 2012 07:13:17 GMT ID:hw1QgbIm (Image: 256x224 png, 81 kb) [Del]

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Later in the game, if you speak to the Item Shop owner in Olga Town, he says, "Somehow, it feels like you're the only customers we get." I think it would sound better if changed slightly, like so: "Somehow, it SEEMS like you're the only customers we get."

16 Name: Bwah : Sat, 13 Oct 2012 07:17:49 GMT ID:hw1QgbIm (Image: 516x224 png, 107 kb) [Del]

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After Selphie tells you of the Hount Highlands, if you go to the Arbour Pavilion and speak to the NPC in front of the counter he will say, "The Hount Highlands?", followed by "It's out of town, not too far from the forest." I think his second line would sound better if changed slightly...something like this: "It's OUTSIDE of town, not too far from the forest."

17 Name: Bwah : Sat, 13 Oct 2012 19:07:44 GMT ID:hw1QgbIm (Image: 256x224 png, 94 kb) [Del]

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Upon reaching the summit of Hount Highlands, a scene plays out. Star sees that Marion is present, and Limitz tells him, "She is acting on her own free will." I think it would sound better if changed to "She is acting OF her own free will." or "She is acting UNDER her own free will." There is another similar scene, earlier in the game, where Limitz says the same thing (he used the phrase "under her own free will" that time, iirc).

18 Name: Bwah : Sat, 13 Oct 2012 19:10:24 GMT ID:hw1QgbIm (Image: 256x224 png, 95 kb) [Del]

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After the battle on Hount Highlands ends, Limitz takes his leave, saying, "Pardon me for now." I suggest making a slight change to the wording, like this, "EXCUSE me for now." Though similar in meaning, there is a subtle difference between both words.

19 Name: Bwah : Sat, 13 Oct 2012 23:23:23 GMT ID:hw1QgbIm (Image: 516x224 png, 144 kb) [Del]

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Just wanted to reiterate what Squirrel posted already, regarding the alignment problem with the last Item Box. Nothing more to add, really, except I've attached a save with the characters right in front of the Treasure Chest which contains the last Item Box (Field 1). If the save helps, you can download it from here:

http://www.mediafire.com/?hzpw1z9d2y5tpsj

20 Name: Bwah : Sat, 13 Oct 2012 23:28:42 GMT ID:hw1QgbIm (Image: 256x224 png, 43 kb) [Del]

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If you speak to the older NPC couple at the Arbour Pavilion, the old lady says, "But oh, it's so lonely!" Maybe it's just me, but does that sentence need some punctuation? I'm not sure, something like "But...oh, it's so lonely!" or "But, oh, it's so lonely!"

21 Name: Bwah : Sat, 13 Oct 2012 23:31:41 GMT ID:hw1QgbIm (Image: 256x224 png, 101 kb) [Del]

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After Oriales begins the destruction, if you speak to an NPC at the Train Station in Olga Town, he says, "I just saw something falling towards us in the sky...". May I suggest a small re-write of the above? I think, "I just saw something IN THE SKY falling towards us..."

22 Name: Bwah : Sat, 13 Oct 2012 23:34:47 GMT ID:hw1QgbIm (Image: 256x224 png, 67 kb) [Del]

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After the destruction begins, if you go to the upstairs room in the bar at Pioneer Town, an NPC asks you if you remember him. He proceeds to say, "We met once at the fortune-teller's." I think the word "fortune-teller's" should not be hyphenated (minor change).

23 Name: Bwah : Sat, 13 Oct 2012 23:42:51 GMT ID:hw1QgbIm (Image: 256x224 png, 72 kb) [Del]

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I could be wrong about this, not sure. In Olga Town, after the destruction begins...if you speak to the Item Shop owner, he says, "Where the hell did that Jamones go to?" From speaking to Jamones MANY times, I've inferred that Moses (the guy behind the till of the Item Shop) is his father. So...if a father asks about the whereabouts of his own son like in the above sentence, wouldn't it make more sense to just refer to him by name? To clarify what I mean, I think the sentence should read "Where the hell did that KID go to?" or "Where the hell did JAMONES go?"

24 Name: Bwah : Sun, 14 Oct 2012 00:05:13 GMT ID:hw1QgbIm (Image: 516x224 png, 70 kb) [Del]

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After Selphie's death, if you return to her home in Olga Town and search the crystal ball, Myra says "This is...the "Robes of the Empress".", followed by "Got the "Robes of the Empress"..." Correct me if I'm wrong, but...shouldn't the word "Robes" be singular here? In other words, "This is...the "Robe of the Empress"." If you do decide to keep the word "Robes" (plural), I'd suggest changing the first sentence to match the rest, like so: "THESE ARE...the "ROBES of the Empress"."

25 Name: Bwah : Sun, 14 Oct 2012 00:16:04 GMT ID:hw1QgbIm (Image: 256x224 png, 66 kb) [Del]

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If you return to the Ice Cavern Graveyard later in the game, you can see Elena's ice coffin/ice block/whatever is shattered and Elena's body is missing. If you examine it after the scene, Myra says, "Elena...I wonder what happened to you." Hmm...this sentence is seemingly all right, but...considering that Myra hardly knows Elena (I think she only met Elena once, in the past), I'd suggest changing Myra's line a little, like so: "Elena...I wonder what happened to HER." The way the line is now, one gets the impression there's a strong bond between Myra and Elena, which is not so. Changing it to "Elena...I wonder what happened to her." makes the line a little more...I don't know...impersonal.

26 Name: Bwah : Sun, 14 Oct 2012 00:20:52 GMT ID:hw1QgbIm (Image: 256x224 png, 77 kb) [Del]

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After the destruction begins...in Olga Town, outside the Arbour Pavilion, is an NPC who says the following: "It seems that some monsters have some useful items!" Not really necessary to change, but I think the second use of the word "some" is unnecessary. If you were to change it, I'd suggest this, "It seems that some monsters have useful items!"

27 Name: Bwah : Sun, 14 Oct 2012 00:25:34 GMT ID:hw1QgbIm (Image: 256x224 png, 60 kb) [Del]

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After the destruction begins...if you go to Medica's room/office and look out the window, Myra says, "The sky's gone deep red." I'm not sure, but something about that sentence strikes me as odd. If I had to make a suggestion, I'd probably go with "The sky's A deep red." or "The sky's gone A deep red."

28 Name: Bwah : Sun, 14 Oct 2012 01:01:29 GMT ID:hw1QgbIm (Image: 776x224 png, 129 kb) [Del]

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This one is...a bit long, but I'll try to be brief :o) In Olga Town there is an NPC who will tell you an OLD STORY about Isaly. Her story goes like this:

Line 1- A long time ago... A woman was murdered in that tunnel.
Line 2- Some people thought she was a monster because strange things kept happening around her...
Line 3- One day, a man was injured in the construction of the tunnel.
Line 4- That woman healed his injuries...
Line 5- ...using a mysterious power, without so much as touching him!
Line 6- The two of them ended up getting married some time afterwards.
Line 7- Apparently they had a child too, before she passed away.

When telling old stories, I believe the initial setting/time frame is established at the start of said story. So, let's look at the whole story again, shall we?

Line 1- A long time ago... A woman was murdered in that tunnel. [OK, this, the first line, establishes one important fact...at the start of the story, a woman was murdered...in other words, for the rest of the story, said woman is DEAD].
Line 2- Some people thought she was a monster because strange things kept happening around her... [Ok, no problem here, as people COULD think such things about a dead person (the woman)].
Line 3- One day, a man was injured in the construction of the tunnel. [No problem here, since this incident's relation to the woman doesn't come into play...yet].
Line 4- That woman healed his injuries... [What?! She died at the beginning of the story!]
Line 5- ...using a mysterious power, without so much as touching him! [See note for #4, woman was already dead].
Line 6- The two of them ended up getting married some time afterwards. [Hmm...except that ghosts don't marry].
Line 7- Apparently they had a child too, before she passed away. [Nor do they (ghosts) have children. Oh, and I believe the term "passed away" needs to be changed to reflect she didn't DIE normally, she was murdered].

I suggest making a few changes...something along these lines:

Line 1- A long time ago... A woman was murdered in that tunnel.
Line 2- Some people thought she was a monster because strange things kept happening around her...
Line 3- Prior to her murder, a man was injured one day in the construction of the tunnel.
Line 4- That woman healed his injuries... [The beginning of line #3 above, "Prior to her murder,", establishes the remainder of the story takes place while said woman was still alive].
Line 5- ...using a mysterious power, without so much as touching him!
Line 6- The two of them ended up getting married some time afterwards.
Line 7- Apparently, they also had a child before she was murdered.

The rest of the story is fine. Ideally, line #2 would be where you'd establish the woman's murder has not yet taken place, but line #2 is pretty long and the text box is rather large...adding more to it might make it look...forced, or strange. As it is, line #2 is still a bit ambiguous, but I don't think you want a fearsome wall of text there, lol. In any case, feel free to take any of these suggestions and use or change them as you see fit.

29 Name: Bwah : Sun, 14 Oct 2012 03:44:02 GMT ID:hw1QgbIm (Image: 516x224 png, 99 kb) [Del]

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While speaking with Unaleph, he says the following lines: "However, this world that Oriales created too...", followed by "...has walked a path of erroneous evolution." I'd suggest a small change to Unaleph's lines here, to the following: "However, this world that Oriales created...", followed by "...has ALSO walked a path of erroneous evolution." [Just struck me as an odd place to split the original sentence].

30 Name: Bwah : Sun, 14 Oct 2012 03:46:45 GMT ID:hw1QgbIm (Image: 256x224 png, 83 kb) [Del]

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While speaking with Unaleph, Myra asks her, "Why are you a General of Darkness, a Sekrelita and a Radiant Priestess as well?" Should be, "Why are you a General of Darkness, a Sekrelita, and a Radiant Priestess as well?" [Note comma after the word "Sekrelita"].

31 Name: Bwah : Sun, 14 Oct 2012 03:52:56 GMT ID:hw1QgbIm (Image: 256x224 png, 92 kb) [Del]

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After your battle with Unaleph, she says to Myra, "I suppose you wouldn't remember at all if it weren't necessary." Honestly, my mind did some serious flips when I read that sentence, lol...I think it's the liberal use of the negatives. I'd suggest a small re-write, like so: "I suppose you wouldn't remember at all UNLESS IT WERE necessary." [At least, that's what I think Unaleph is trying to convey in the original sentence, I might be wrong].

32 Name: Bwah : Sun, 14 Oct 2012 03:58:48 GMT ID:hw1QgbIm (Image: 516x224 png, 107 kb) [Del]

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Again, same scene as #31 above...after defeating Unaleph, she speaks to Lenardo and says, "It should have been my job as the monitor of time to have stopped Limitz...". In her next sentence, she states, "I couldn't stop his single-minded ambition.", admitting that it was, indeed, her job to stop Limitz. May I suggest changing Unaleph's first sentence a little? Something like this, "As the monitor of time, it WAS my job to have stopped Limitz..." [Capital letters added to indicate changes, as usual :o)]

33 Name: Bwah : Sun, 14 Oct 2012 04:05:25 GMT ID:hw1QgbIm (Image: 256x224 png, 88 kb) [Del]

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This is another of the things I noticed my first time through the game, so I'll mention it now: After defeating Unaleph, she tells Myra, "I entrust the future with you..." [See pic]. After you pick up the Sapphire of Water, the screen turns blue and Unaleph says, "I entrust everything to you...". I believe "entrust with" and "entrust to" are both correct, but I would suggest sticking with one for the sake of consistency (it's actually not that important, but it is something that jumped out at me both times I've been through the game so I thought I'd mention it :o)

34 Name: Bwah : Sun, 14 Oct 2012 04:14:00 GMT ID:hw1QgbIm (Image: 1036x224 png, 153 kb) [Del]

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Now, this is something I've run across in different places (the Golden Desert, here (the Palace of Rivers), and possibly other places as well). Going by the attached picture, you can see that, sometimes, the string "Got [ITEM$]" is printing with an exclamation mark INSIDE the trailing quote marks, and the exclamation mark should be on the OUTSIDE of the quotation marks. In the attached picture, all are correct except for #2 (the 2nd picture from the left).

35 Name: Bwah : Sun, 14 Oct 2012 07:18:09 GMT ID:hw1QgbIm (Image: 516x224 png, 150 kb) [Del]

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There are four statues in the chamber where you fight Unaleph. Examining the two lower statues yields a different response than examining the two upper statues. The description for the lower statues says, "I wonder what this statue is for...", whereas for the upper statues it says, "I wonder what this statue is for?" Should probably be changed to match for the sake of consistency.

36 Name: Bwah : Sun, 14 Oct 2012 07:22:44 GMT ID:hw1QgbIm (Image: 1036x224 png, 205 kb) [Del]

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Right before the battle with Masifal, Parasite appears and says the following lines:

Line 1- Why can only humans use fire?
Line 2- That's because...!
Line 3- The Sekrelita of Fire,
Line 4- Masifal is sleeping!

The only change I'd suggest is to add a comma to line #4 after the word "Masifal", so it reads, "Masifal, is sleeping!"

37 Name: Bwah : Sun, 14 Oct 2012 07:28:31 GMT ID:hw1QgbIm (Image: 256x224 png, 79 kb) [Del]

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After defeating Masifal, Oriales rebukes Parasite. Oriales says, "Stupid man!" Considering Oriales is supposed to be one of the Creators, I think the word "stupid" is slightly inappropriate here. That sounds like something Parasite would say, especially because the word "stupid" is mainly insulting. Oriales, however, considers himself to be much higher than humans, so I think the word "foolish" would probably be more in line with what Oriales would say.

38 Name: satsu!aCfYpcY.NE : Sun, 28 Oct 2012 11:49:10 GMT ID:490ikXsM [Del]

Bumping this to add to my queue of fixes.

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