Starting a New Game... (39)

1 Name: Bwah : Tue, 09 Oct 2012 19:43:29 GMT ID:DU207SEc (Image: 256x224 png, 54 kb) [Del]

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All right, started a new game (not New Game +, a new game). Here I'll list some of the things I didn't post earlier, lest I come across as...I don't know...petty, I guess. With that in mind, take the following reports with a grain/bucket of salt :o)

Right after you begin a new game, Selphia appears on the screen and says the following: "Well, it looks like you're starting to wake up now." Now, this might just be a US English thing, but "wake up" usually evokes the image of someone getting up from bed (which is exactly what I thought when I read that line). I think that when one is referring to abstract things, it might be better to use AWAKEN. Also...considering who Myra really is, might I suggest changing it to "Well, it looks like you're starting to AWAKEN." or "Well, it looks like you're starting to AWAKEN now." Yes, I'm aware they basically mean the same thing, but, considering Selphia KNOWS the truth about Myra, it seems to me that AWAKEN sounds better.

2 Name: Bwah : Tue, 09 Oct 2012 19:52:11 GMT ID:DU207SEc (Image: 256x224 png, 74 kb) [Del]

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At the start of the game, inside the Arbour Pavilion...if you speak to the green-haired girl by the piano, she says, "He really left an impression!" Again, might just be a difference between US English and British English. Here in the US, it's customary to say "make an impression" when speaking of someone in this context. The only change I'd suggest is "He really MADE an impression!" As it is, I literally thought, "Where? Where is it? I want to see that impression!"

3 Name: Bwah : Tue, 09 Oct 2012 20:03:01 GMT ID:DU207SEc (Image: 256x224 png, 96 kb) [Del]

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Hmm...this one struck me as odd the first time I saw it. In Olga Town, by the fountain, an NPC says, "I heard that a young girl was sold here recently!" She ends her speech by saying "These are dangerous times!" I'm not really sure if "sold here" is translated correctly...her last part about "dangerous times" hints at violence. I might just be reading too much into it, but the idea of someone being sold is still odd (which is why I decided to ask about it). Is it possible that the original line says "killed here" instead of "sold here"?

4 Name: Bwah : Tue, 09 Oct 2012 20:05:43 GMT ID:DU207SEc (Image: 256x224 png, 59 kb) [Del]

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Ok, this one is really minor, just missing punctuation. While speaking with Selphie, she says, "If you go to the Wind Forest, Eltois and meet him,". Should be, "If you go to the Wind Forest, Eltois, and meet him," [note comma after the word "Eltois"]

5 Name: Bwah : Tue, 09 Oct 2012 21:07:49 GMT ID:DU207SEc (Image: 256x224 png, 75 kb) [Del]

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Moving along...if you speak with the indecisive man in the Arbour Pavilion, he'll offer some useful advice about buying clothes in the Item Shop. He says the following: "They said that if people who can wear something will be "displayed brightly"..." During my first playthrough, I wasn't sure what that meant so I quickly dismissed it. However, now I know what he meant, and I think the sentence should read, "They said that people who can wear something will be "displayed brightly"..." [note omission of the word "if", as it's unnecessary].

6 Name: Bwah : Tue, 09 Oct 2012 21:17:26 GMT ID:DU207SEc (Image: 256x224 png, 86 kb) [Del]

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Upon arriving at Eltois, there's a scene in which Dr Lenardo speaks to Gulliver. At the end, he says, "I'd...best keep searching too." Hmm...this is one of the initial things I dismissed the first time through the game, but I'll make a note of it now: the word "best" in Dr Lenardo's statement. "Best", when used in a sentence, indicates more than two [good/better/best], and in this case there's only two characters searching for the flower (Dr. Lenardo and Gulliver). You might consider changing it to read, "I'd...BETTER keep searching too." [Capitals added to note change].

Sorry about the nitpicking, but I don't expect there will be many more things to report (and if I don't report them now, I probably won't report them at all. I'd rather report something and have it not be used than not report it and later wonder if I should have reported it).

7 Name: Bwah : Tue, 09 Oct 2012 22:07:34 GMT ID:DU207SEc (Image: 516x224 png, 97 kb) [Del]

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After fighting Dr. Lenard in Eltois, Myra says to Lenard, "You ate my breakfast and ran away!", followed by "Don't tell me you don't know me!" [See pic] As far as I can tell, Myra and Lenard DO NOT know each other (as evidenced by Lenard referring to her as "young lady"), so Myra's second line seems a bit odd. I'd suggest changing Myra's 2nd line to something like this: "Don't tell me you don't REMEMBER!"

8 Name: Bwah : Tue, 09 Oct 2012 22:11:00 GMT ID:DU207SEc (Image: 776x224 png, 130 kb) [Del]

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In the same scene as #7 above, there's an exchange between Lenard and Myra:

Lenard: Do you realise what you're saying?
Myra: Of course!
Lenard: Well, that invention was another failure.

Was this intentional? Lenard did mention his new invention to Myra, a mind-reading machine, so Lenard's last line in that scene is either funny or a bit odd :o)

9 Name: Bwah : Wed, 10 Oct 2012 04:15:43 GMT ID:DU207SEc (Image: 256x224 png, 44 kb) [Del]

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After you return to the Arbor Pavilion from Eltois, when Myra goes to bed she says, "I'm totally shattered." I can infer that she means she's completely exhausted, but I thought I'd ask about the usage of "shattered" here...it's probably just a British English colloquialism (correct me if I'm wrong).

10 Name: Bwah : Wed, 10 Oct 2012 04:23:07 GMT ID:DU207SEc (Image: 516x224 png, 84 kb) [Del]

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Same as in #9 above...during Myra's dream, she says to Selphie, "I want to know!", and Selphie replies, "It's still too early." Though grammatically correct, Selphie's reply strikes me as sounding a little strange. The only suggestion I'd make would be to change it a bit, like this: "It's still too SOON."

11 Name: Bwah : Wed, 10 Oct 2012 04:31:44 GMT ID:DU207SEc (Image: 256x224 png, 52 kb) [Del]

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On the day the train is set to leave for Pioneer Town, if you go into the adjacent room at the Arbor Pavilion, one of the NPC's says, "I guess we've done something we can't take back." While I understand he's expressing regret over something, I think the sentence would sound better if the words "take back" were changed to "undo", like this: "I guess we've done something we can't UNDO."

12 Name: Bwah : Wed, 10 Oct 2012 04:36:14 GMT ID:DU207SEc (Image: 256x224 png, 83 kb) [Del]

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While at the train station in Olga Town, one of the NPC's says, "If I just buy this, I should be okay for a while." Not really sure what he's talking about, so that sentence might need some clarification/editing (during my first playthrough, I just assumed he was talking about buying a train ticket, but the last part of the sentence stumped me).

13 Name: Bwah : Wed, 10 Oct 2012 04:52:13 GMT ID:DU207SEc (Image: 256x224 png, 67 kb) [Del]

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Hmm...strange. I could have sworn I already posted this typo, but a quick look through the threads yielded nothing :o\ Anyway, just to be on the safe side, here it is possibly again: on the train bound for Pioneer Town, Lenardo says, "There's no way this train should be able go so fast!" Should be, "There's no way this train should be able TO go so fast!"

14 Name: Bwah : Wed, 10 Oct 2012 04:57:59 GMT ID:DU207SEc (Image: 256x224 png, 60 kb) [Del]

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Today I ran into an unusual glitch: on the LOAD screen, some persistent graphical corruption has appeared [see pic]. I only mention this because I already reset the emulator and "powered off" the emulator, yet the glitch persists. FWIW, I do save my game often while playing, but this is the first time this has appeared. If you'd like to take a look at it, you can download the save file here:

http://www.mediafire.com/?xza0ip4a7wq61c5

The glitch appears in save slot 2, btw.

15 Name: Bwah : Wed, 10 Oct 2012 15:43:50 GMT ID:DU207SEc (Image: 256x224 png, 97 kb) [Del]

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Update on #14 above: if you leave that area (walk out an exit) and save the game, the glitch disappears, go figure.

Anyway, going off of the save file in #14 above, once you begin the battle where you have to protect Emilina, the following minor corruption appears on the Battle Win conditions [see pic, after Conditions for defeat].

I've seen this happen in other battle screens as well, but it doesn't always happen and the Battle screen will display properly (with all text written clearly).

16 Name: Bwah : Wed, 10 Oct 2012 15:52:50 GMT ID:DU207SEc (Image: 1036x224 png, 124 kb) [Del]

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While browsing through the Bag contents, I stumbled across the following:

Right after Star joins the group, Myra obtains his Topaz of Earth (which promptly is automatically placed inside the Bag). Every now and then, I go through the Bag and rearrange it, that's when I read the description for the Topaz. All the other jewels have a lengthy description, except for the Topaz, which only states "Half a jewel." [See pic].

While there's nothing wrong with the description (I mean, it IS half a jewel), the same thing could be said about all the other jewels at this point in the game [none of the jewels have been merged with their dark counterparts yet]. I figured it might be a technical issue related to Star's name (and how it can be changed by the player), so if you were to make any changes, I'd suggest something like this, "Jewel you found recently.", or something along those lines to keep the descriptions uniform.

17 Name: Bwah : Wed, 10 Oct 2012 18:09:52 GMT ID:DU207SEc (Image: 516x224 png, 81 kb) [Del]

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During the scene in which Lenard uses the Reincarnation Flower on Elena's corpse, Leon arrives and Unaleph tells him this: "That was the only way we could...", followed by "...take their hearts without causing pain!" I think Unaleph's second line should read "...take their LIVES without causing pain!" (See pic).

18 Name: Bwah : Wed, 10 Oct 2012 18:14:22 GMT ID:DU207SEc (Image: 256x224 png, 67 kb) [Del]

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In the same scene as above, there is a shattered block of ice by Elena's body. If you examine it, Myra says, "This coffin is broken." A coffin is defined as a box in which a dead person is buried, and boxes are typically wooden. The only suggestion I'd make would be to have it read like this: "This ICE coffin is broken." OR "This FROZEN coffin is broken."

19 Name: Bwah : Wed, 10 Oct 2012 18:17:18 GMT ID:DU207SEc (Image: 256x224 png, 78 kb) [Del]

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After returning to Olga Town from the Ice Cavern Graveyard, Selphie greets the group by saying, "Welcome back Myra, Dr Lenardo." I believe that should read, Welcome back, Myra, Dr Lenardo." [Note comma after "welcome back"].

20 Name: Bwah : Wed, 10 Oct 2012 21:57:51 GMT ID:DU207SEc (Image: 1296x224 png, 212 kb) [Del]

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Ok, this happens after you speak with Unaleph and return to Olga Town (but BEFORE you go to the Construction Site). In Olga Town, speaking to two different NPC's yields somewhat conflicting information. [See pics]

If you speak to the old woman, she tells you that the repairs on the train have been finished, but the earthquakes caused a collapse in the tunnel (so the train cannot operate due to being blocked). If you immediately go to the Train Station and speak with the conductor, he says, "We're proceeding with the construction of the tunnel." I think his line should be changed to the following: "We're proceeding with the CLEARING of the tunnel."

If you jump onto the train's boarding block, the conductor says, "The train isn't running anymore.", followed by "It's broken." His second line, "It's broken.", should probably be changed to properly reflect in-game events, something like this: "It's BLOCKED." I was going to suggest a longer rewrite for his second statement, but for the sake of simplicity I think "It's blocked." more accurately reflects in-game events.

21 Name: Bwah : Wed, 10 Oct 2012 22:01:10 GMT ID:DU207SEc (Image: 256x224 png, 63 kb) [Del]

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Upon arriving at the Volcanic Crater, a scene plays out and Myra says, "According to Selphie's prediction, Dorothy should be in here." It would probably be more correct to change it to the following: "According to Selphie's DIVINATION, Dorothy should be in here."

22 Name: Bwah : Wed, 10 Oct 2012 22:03:05 GMT ID:DU207SEc (Image: 256x224 png, 60 kb) [Del]

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Same as #21 above, while speaking with Selphie, she says, "According to my prediction, Dorothy went inside the crater." The word "prediction" should probably be changed to "divination".

23 Name: Bwah : Wed, 10 Oct 2012 22:13:01 GMT ID:DU207SEc (Image: 256x224 png, 70 kb) [Del]

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After returning to Olga Town from the Ice Cavern Graveyard, Myra recounts the events to Selphie and says, "Leon was about to destroy the grave of a woman sleeping in the ice." The only suggestion I'd make would be to change the word "sleeping" to something else, like "entombed" or "frozen" i.e. "Leon was about to destroy the grave of a woman ENTOMBED in the ice."

24 Name: Bwah : Wed, 10 Oct 2012 22:17:56 GMT ID:DU207SEc (Image: 256x224 png, 101 kb) [Del]

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After Myra's group returns to the Arbour Pavilion, a scene plays out and Irene says, "The room above is free, so please rest there." Her previous line, however, says something along the lines of Star and Dr. Lenardo being customers, quickly followed by this line of "room above is free...". It wasn't until my 2nd playthrough that I realized Irene DID NOT have a change of heart and let them stay at no charge, but rather that she meant the room was available. For the sake of clarification, I'd suggest changing the word "free" to "available" :o)

25 Name: Bwah : Wed, 10 Oct 2012 22:22:02 GMT ID:DU207SEc (Image: 256x224 png, 44 kb) [Del]

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I believe this happens right after Star leaves the group the first time. Lenardo gets Myra and they both leave to find Star. On the way out, if you speak to the little girl on the 2nd floor of the Arbour Pavilion, she says, "I have nothing to do with you, old man!" I think it might sound a little better if changed to: "I'LL have nothing to do with you, old man!"

26 Name: Bwah : Wed, 10 Oct 2012 22:26:49 GMT ID:DU207SEc (Image: 256x224 png, 56 kb) [Del]

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In Olga Town, before going to the Construction Site, one of the NPC's says, "There's no way I should know about that sort of thing!" (referring to the method of gaining entrance into the Volcanic Crater). I think the word "should" would probably be better if changed to either "would" or "could".

27 Name: Bwah : Wed, 10 Oct 2012 22:31:37 GMT ID:DU207SEc (Image: 256x224 png, 42 kb) [Del]

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After helping Dorothy, Gulliver "sacrifices" himself in order to protect Dorothy. Lenardo says, "He let himself get broken saving someone's life." That sentence struck me as sounding a bit odd, but it might just be me. In any case, I'd suggest a small re-write, like this: "He let himself get broken TO SAVE someone's life." or "He let himself get broken IN ORDER TO SAVE someone's life."

28 Name: Bwah : Wed, 10 Oct 2012 22:38:46 GMT ID:DU207SEc (Image: 516x224 png, 95 kb) [Del]

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This one I barely noticed today, while at the Item Shop in Olga Town (I checked the vendor in Pioneer Town also, and it says the same thing). Basically, when in BUY mode, the icons at the bottom of the screen display text above them indicating what you'll be seeing if you select them. If you check the attached pic, you'll see that the icon reads "Shoes", but once that selection window opens, it actually reads "Boots". Not that big a deal, but I'd suggest changing one or the other (fwiw, I'm partial to "Shoes", especially because I don't think the shop even sells Boots...).

29 Name: Bwah : Thu, 11 Oct 2012 20:33:23 GMT ID:DU207SEc (Image: 256x224 png, 81 kb) [Del]

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If you head to the bar in Pioneer Town (in the past) and examine the chest, Myra says, "I have a feeling this chest was open before..." I think it should be changed to "I have a feeling this chest was MOVED before...", considering that the chest (in the present) wasn't really open itself, rather there was an opening by it.

30 Name: Bwah : Thu, 11 Oct 2012 20:35:20 GMT ID:DU207SEc (Image: 256x224 png, 58 kb) [Del]

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At Emilio's Clinic (in the past), after speaking to young Lenardo, he says "Whoever you're here to talk to sadly isn't here." I'd suggest adding a couple of commas, like this, "Whoever you're here to talk to, sadly, isn't here."

31 Name: Bwah : Thu, 11 Oct 2012 20:38:38 GMT ID:DU207SEc (Image: 256x224 png, 64 kb) [Del]

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At Emilio's Clinic again, when you speak to one of the nurses, she says, "Limitz went up to the room upstairs, carrying some big machine." I think the word "up" is unnecessary ("...went to the room upstairs" should be fine...).

32 Name: Bwah : Thu, 11 Oct 2012 20:42:07 GMT ID:DU207SEc (Image: 256x224 png, 59 kb) [Del]

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After Elena collapses at Emilio's Clinic, Lenardo says, "That's when she relapsed." A relapse is when someone falls ill again after improving, but Elena actually died right there. You might consider changing "relapsed" to either "died" or "passed away".

33 Name: Bwah : Thu, 11 Oct 2012 20:45:52 GMT ID:DU207SEc (Image: 256x224 png, 84 kb) [Del]

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When you go to Limitz's House (in the past), there's a scene where several mecha-SWAT's attack. Lenardo says, "Limitz' underground lab was attached to that weird factory!" Should be, "Limitz's underground lab was attached to that weird factory!" [note "s" after the word "Limitz'"].

34 Name: Bwah : Thu, 11 Oct 2012 20:54:04 GMT ID:DU207SEc (Image: 256x224 png, 72 kb) [Del]

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This one...I saw it the first time I played through the game and thought the sentence a little unusual. When you visit Isaly's House (in the past) for the second time and help save Isaly's home from being burned down...the boy excuses himself and waits outside her house. Speaking to him, Myra asks him, "Why don't you make friends?" The usage here of "make friends" struck me as a bit odd...shouldn't that be "Why don't you make friends WITH HER?" I don't know...it just seems to me that the expression "make friends" is overly general and refers to making friends, not with specific people (as is implied in this case).

35 Name: Bwah : Thu, 11 Oct 2012 20:56:21 GMT ID:DU207SEc (Image: 256x224 png, 87 kb) [Del]

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After you return to the bar in Pioneer Town (in the past), Emilina offers the use of an upstairs bed. Speaking to the bartender, he says, "You guys seem pretty hard-up." Nothing wrong there, except that "hard up" shouldn't be hyphenated...minor change :o)

36 Name: Bwah : Thu, 11 Oct 2012 21:00:03 GMT ID:DU207SEc (Image: 256x224 png, 64 kb) [Del]

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While in the past, after you visit Limitz's House a few times, a scene plays out in which Parasite arrives. Dorothy mocks him, to which Parasite replies, "Don't you play around with me!" I think the sentence might sound better if changed to "Don't play around with me!" or "Don't you DARE play around with me!"

37 Name: Bwah : Thu, 11 Oct 2012 21:10:09 GMT ID:DU207SEc (Image: 256x224 png, 87 kb) [Del]

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Right after the scene in #36 above, Myra's group speaks with Limitz and past Star. After Lenardo tells Limitz that they (Myra's group) travelled through time, past Star says, "What on earth are you? Is what you just said the truth?" Star's question..."What on earth are you?" I'm familiar with that term from watching anime, and I know what it means...it's just that this sentence, in English, just doesn't work (especially considering the fact that Star directed his question to Lenardo, who is obviously a human, not a monster). Should you change it? Maybe not, it depends on how you feel about that (plus the current line is probably a correct translation of the original). Personally, I think the sentence would make more sense if changed to the following: "What on earth... Is what you just said the truth?"

38 Name: Bwah : Thu, 11 Oct 2012 21:23:23 GMT ID:DU207SEc (Image: 256x224 png, 68 kb) [Del]

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After the scene in which Parasite shows up at Limitz's House, the battle begins. During the battle, after inflicting damage upon Limitz, Parasite says, "You might look pretty bling, but you're all over the place!" Again, this is one of those things that didn't just jump out at me, it actually jumped out and grabbed me, lol. More specifically, it's the use of the word "bling" in that sentence. Not sure about its use in British English, but here, in the US, the word "bling" has a...an African American connotation to it. Seriously, the mental image it evokes here is of black rappers, wearing bling. Does it need to be changed? No, not really, but I would like to mention that I don't believe the word "bling" was in use around the time this game was released (around 1996), so its use here kind of seems out of place. If any changes were to be made, I'd suggest something like this: "You might look pretty FLASHY, but you're all over the place!", or something along those lines. Whether it's changed or not, the line is understandable, and that's the main thing.

39 Name: satsu!aCfYpcY.NE : Sun, 28 Oct 2012 11:47:49 GMT ID:VNiNb31P [Del]

Fixed everything text-related! Details below.

>>3
"sold" is right, changed "dangerous" to "hard"

>>6
This use of "best" is fine in colloquial speech, e.g. "I'd best be off"

>>8
I hope it's the former? :V

>>9
Yep, it's BrE.

>>14
This is a technical glitch, so I'm just calling it out here for DNQ's attention.

>>15
This is unfortunately a feature of how the overlay works - certain shades of white end up being transparent on certain backgrounds. This issue is present in the Japanese original too.

>>17
Changed to 'souls'

>>23
Went for 'resting'. I want something that sounds a bit more voluntary.

>>38
We tend to exclusively use it in a tongue-in-cheek way. Replaced with 'flash'.

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